Many of the examples in the previous section demonstrated elements of good writing for memos. In the following example, read through the memo and answer the questions that follow.
MINUTE SHEET
cc: |
Ms. L. Gxxxxx (HR/OPS)
Mr. D. Fxxxxx (HR/OPS)
Mr. C. Dxxxxx (HRD)
Ms. J. Pxxxx (HRD) |
Ms. M. Yyyyy (CABINET)
Request for permission to hold
two Leadership Training workshops off-site
- As you are aware a second Leadership Training programme is about to begin. The participants have been selected and the materials for phase 1 are now being sent to them. The pre-workshop phase lasts 3 months and the workshops will take place at the end of October.
- For previous sessions in this programme we held the workshops (with CABINET agreement) at the Best Western Hotel Chavannes. We are very satisfied with that venue and propose to hold the forthcoming workshops, of which there will be two, also at the same venue.
- The workshops have been held off-site for the following reasons:
- We require a large open space with the ability to move furniture into various configurations quickly and easily. The ability to move the tables and work in open clusters or plenary circles is critical for the learning and team development processes. Suitable rooms are not available at the ILO premises.
- The programme requires the full attendance of the participants. There is a tendency for staff to be called away or come late to sessions if the training takes place at the ILO premises.
- Team development and interaction is important and we expect participants to share coffee breaks and lunch time. This informal interaction is as important to the learning as the formal sessions. An external environment is required to facilitate this informal interaction.
- We have looked at external venues from both the cost and the environment. We chose to remain in the Geneva area for cost and convenience reasons. The ITC in Turin was considered but it is not cost effective, since 65% of the participants are Geneva based and the cost of travel would certainly exceed the budget we had set aside for this activity.
- In the Geneva area we looked at two venues: Ecogia, the ICRC training centre in Versoix and the Best Western Hotel in Chavannes-de-Bogis. Both are excellent training venues, satisfying all our requirements. We have opted for the Chavannes venue as it was available for all workshop dates and it is actually cheaper than the Ecogia option.
- It would be appreciated if you would agree to the three leadership training workshops taking place at the Chavannes-de-Bogis Hotel.
15 July 2005
M. Gxxxxx HR/OPS |
Ask yourself the following questions based on the message-writing checklist that you saw earlier in this module:
What type of message has the author written? |
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What organizational pattern has the author adopted for his or her message? |
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Request (indirect, persuasive approach)
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Does the subject line (if included) give a clear indication of the purpose? |
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What does the author expect the reader to do as a result of reading the document? |
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Approve the request (agree to the training at the hotel venue)
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Are all paragraphs unified and well constructed? |
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Do paragraphs flow easily from one to the next? |
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Is the level of formality/informality appropriate for the reader and context? |
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Yes (the use of ‘we’ suggests a slightly less formal tone)
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Has all unnecessary information been eliminated? |
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Yes, the content of the minute sheet is
focussed exclusively on the subject of holding the workshops off site.
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What are the formatting requirements for this type of correspondence? |
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Title
The cc: field
The addressee
The bolded subject line, centred
The date and author at the end of the message
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