Module 1 — Effective
writing: Strategies
and principles
| Course Guide | Module 1 | Module 2a | Module 2b |
Activity 19: Revising noun-based writing
Consider the following extract and try to improve it by reducing the number of abstract nouns and increasing the number of verbs:
Click to identify the noun-based elements of the sentence. Then write your own improved, verb-based version and compare.
| A noun-based sentence | Consistent with its mandate for advocacy and dialogue, ILO has had involvement in the mobilization of the vastly increased resources needed for the promotion of tripartite discussions, in particular the support of consultations on the establishment of local working groups and the encouragement of further collaboration among constituents. |
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Your sentence |
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Consistent with its mandate for advocacy and dialogue, ILO has had involvement in the mobilization of the vastly increased resources needed for the promotion of tripartite discussions, in particular the support of consultations on the establishment of local working groups and the encouragement of further collaboration among constituents. (48 words) |
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The ILO, consistent with its mandate, has been involved in mobilizing the vastly increased resources needed to promote tripartite discussions. In particular, it has supported consultations on establishing local working groups and has encouraged further collaboration among constituents. (38 words) |