Revising for a Consistent Tone

In the previous activity, the sample Temporary Advance revealed an inconsistency of tone, making it seem like the writer, Vicky, was uncertain about how to regard her reader and communicate her message.

Reread the sample e-mail below. As you have already noted, it is inconsistent in its tone. Highlight the inconsistencies. Then click “Show All” to compare your answers with ours.

You will see that informal/casual expressions are highlighted in yellow, formal/frozen in green. At the bottom you will find a version that has been revised for conciseness and consistent tone.