Analysis of Style and Tone
Now that you have learned about style and tone, you will put these ideas together to analyze a sample. Click on the link below to read a sample bad-news letter. If you wish, you may print it out.
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Now use the checklist below to analyze the style and tone of the document. When you have finished, you can compare your analysis with our suggested answers.
| Common problem | Yes/No | Example | How would you rephrase? |
Lack of conciseness: Unnecessary words, redundancy, repetition. |
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Yes |
at this point in time for a period of two years |
at this time two years |
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Noun-based writing
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Yes |
It was our expectation that ... |
We expected that … |
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Passive verbs
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Yes |
an offer for a position cannot be made consideration will be given to your application [The two examples in this row are also instances of noun-based writing.] |
we cannot offer you a position we will consider your application again |
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Tone inappropriate |
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Yes |
Inconsistency between formal and informal/casual. The letter is addressed to Ms. Fabiani, but then the writer addresses her by her first name in the last paragraph. “I was thrilled to hear from you again and so happy to receive your inquiry” indicates a warm tone. But this is followed by the expression “It is with considerable regret,” which is much more formal. |
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