Module 2b —
Report Writing
| Course Guide | Module 1 | Module 2a | Module 2b |
Activity 7: Improving recommendations
Read through the recommendations below. Improve the wording of these recommendations by rewriting the sentence in the field below the example. You should base your comments and revisions on the writing effective recommendations principles on the previous page.
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Involvement of the private sector in dairy and meat processing could ensure incentive prices for the livestock farmers. As well, the fishing subsector could benefit from more cold storage and processing facilities. For the traditional exports subsector, the following specific recommendations arise: replacing ageing coffee trees with new high-yielding and disease-resistant varieties; improving seed production and distribution for the cotton industry; encouraging private sector involvement in coffee processing and cotton ginning. |
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Write your answer |
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These recommendations are weakly stated, more as opinions than specific suggestions. There is also no parallel structure for these recommendations, particularly in the second paragraph where the stem does not offer much assertiveness to the recommendations. |
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There should be more involvement of the private sector in dairy and meat processing to ensure incentive prices for the livestock farmers. Secondly, the fishing subsector should implement more cold storage and processing facilities. For the traditional exports subsector, the following is recommended:
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